This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
