Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
