So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
