Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I bet he comes in French.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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