Sponge bath it is.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
