What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize