Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
