it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
