I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
