I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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