Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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