You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize