i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
