So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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