guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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