what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize