butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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