Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Randomize
