It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
