so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
