id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
