My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
