I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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