if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize