idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
