Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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