the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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