its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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