I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
