trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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