So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
