just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
