How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
