Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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