You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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