Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
