it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
