I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
