you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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