It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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