You can't motorboat a personality
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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