Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize