if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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