He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
