what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
