he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
