Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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