U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
