Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
