While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
