I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The air was thick with penises
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
