First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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