Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Are we still banned from the library?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
