i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize