Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You took a bar mat shot.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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