covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
