I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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