My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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