I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
