somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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