and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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