I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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