I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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