Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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