it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
