Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize