8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
