how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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