i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
