My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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