We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
