Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
