the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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