I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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