Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
