Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have feelings that need drinking.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
