just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
