Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
4 words: hood of his car
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize